When I try to think of the last time that I truly embarrassed myself, I want to point to something silly, like a few weeks ago when, while grabbing a coffee in a small, crowded shop, I sat down in a broken chair and experienced the first Honest-to-God, Ass-Over-Teakettle fall that I have had in probably my entire adult life.
i think lately my most spoken words are “this is so embarrassing,” generally to my understandably annoyed best friend. so now i’ve been trying to care less about how i appear while literally just Living My Life. i am not super kind to myself, first by feeling embarrassed over every little thing and then by feeling bad about feeling embarrassed. this was such a compassionate piece. it's a viewpoint that is definitely helping me be more accepting of how i feel, while gently reminding me that anything worth doing is worth feeling embarrassed over. & isn't it so thrilling! so glad i came across this. :)
I like your insight about this, but i dont think it’s thrilling to be ignored. I can’t see myself doing more and giving more and consider it exciting. It will make me hate myself more; it will make me disrespect myself every single time just to not regret anything later; it’s draining. It sucks every ounce of energy and self discipline out of you.
This might work in certain situations, just not all the time. Romanticizing being too vulnerable is dangerous. And in my opinion, actions and relationships with people should be balanced; i show you my genuine side, and you show me yours. I cant give and give and have nothing in return, not with everyone, at least, and not all the time.
I downloaded substack a few minutes ago just for this piece! I'm giving a small talk on embarrassment in college, and I want to cite this work of art :)
Every day since I have read this post I have thought about your words. It really has stuck with me and I've been replaying the ideas you've discussed. To live honestly and truly, something I'm really working hard towards, I need to allow myself to be embarrassed. As you said, embarrassment is inevitable. I think that embarrassment in any case is a good measure of my ability to let myself truly live the way I want to, honestly and freely. It makes me think of a silly but still valid example. Some weeks I go out to the bars for the night, just my roommate and I. We always mumble complaints when we first arrive regarding how no one is dancing and how the vibes aren't high yet. I've started to realize though that the vibes only ever get higher, only ever elevate when someone dares to finally just let go and have a good time. Once one person stops worrying about embarrassing themselves and they start dancing freely, others follow suit. So, I've started just dancing anyway. I don't need someone else dancing to invite me to enjoy myself at the bar, I can just start dancing myself and chances are I'll attract others to start dancing with us as well. I don't need to sit around and wait for joy and pure bliss to find me, I have and always will have the power to cultivate magic in my own life and in the lives of others. The only thing stopping me from doing so is my fear of embarrassment. That applies not just to dancing in a bar, but in any aspect of my life. At least if I feel embarrassed I know that I felt courageous enough to try and cultivate magic in my life and that's a beautiful thing, it's something to be proud of. Thank you for this read. <3
Wow, just wow! Everything about this spoke to me, and I'm so glad I stumbled upon it. It feels like this found me at the perfect time because I told myself this year I would live differently. I think I needed the reminder that embarrassment is just part of living life to the fullest and not to be afraid of it.
i look back at clips of me doing karaoke with a slight sense of cringe at my absolutely half drunk horrid voice but ultimately have a heart full of joy because I know I was having just the utmost fun.
i think lately my most spoken words are “this is so embarrassing,” generally to my understandably annoyed best friend. so now i’ve been trying to care less about how i appear while literally just Living My Life. i am not super kind to myself, first by feeling embarrassed over every little thing and then by feeling bad about feeling embarrassed. this was such a compassionate piece. it's a viewpoint that is definitely helping me be more accepting of how i feel, while gently reminding me that anything worth doing is worth feeling embarrassed over. & isn't it so thrilling! so glad i came across this. :)
“anything worth doing is worth feeling embarrassed over”
i love that!
Preparing to have the most embarrassing year possible! Lovely article💗
Just what I needed to read at this point in my life. Every word resonated. Thank you.
I like your insight about this, but i dont think it’s thrilling to be ignored. I can’t see myself doing more and giving more and consider it exciting. It will make me hate myself more; it will make me disrespect myself every single time just to not regret anything later; it’s draining. It sucks every ounce of energy and self discipline out of you.
This might work in certain situations, just not all the time. Romanticizing being too vulnerable is dangerous. And in my opinion, actions and relationships with people should be balanced; i show you my genuine side, and you show me yours. I cant give and give and have nothing in return, not with everyone, at least, and not all the time.
I downloaded substack a few minutes ago just for this piece! I'm giving a small talk on embarrassment in college, and I want to cite this work of art :)
Every day since I have read this post I have thought about your words. It really has stuck with me and I've been replaying the ideas you've discussed. To live honestly and truly, something I'm really working hard towards, I need to allow myself to be embarrassed. As you said, embarrassment is inevitable. I think that embarrassment in any case is a good measure of my ability to let myself truly live the way I want to, honestly and freely. It makes me think of a silly but still valid example. Some weeks I go out to the bars for the night, just my roommate and I. We always mumble complaints when we first arrive regarding how no one is dancing and how the vibes aren't high yet. I've started to realize though that the vibes only ever get higher, only ever elevate when someone dares to finally just let go and have a good time. Once one person stops worrying about embarrassing themselves and they start dancing freely, others follow suit. So, I've started just dancing anyway. I don't need someone else dancing to invite me to enjoy myself at the bar, I can just start dancing myself and chances are I'll attract others to start dancing with us as well. I don't need to sit around and wait for joy and pure bliss to find me, I have and always will have the power to cultivate magic in my own life and in the lives of others. The only thing stopping me from doing so is my fear of embarrassment. That applies not just to dancing in a bar, but in any aspect of my life. At least if I feel embarrassed I know that I felt courageous enough to try and cultivate magic in my life and that's a beautiful thing, it's something to be proud of. Thank you for this read. <3
“So, I’ve just started dancing anyway.”
That’s it, exactly. Thanks for sharing some of that magic you’ve cultivated :) You’ve warmed my little heart a lot ♥️
Wow, just wow! Everything about this spoke to me, and I'm so glad I stumbled upon it. It feels like this found me at the perfect time because I told myself this year I would live differently. I think I needed the reminder that embarrassment is just part of living life to the fullest and not to be afraid of it.
i look back at clips of me doing karaoke with a slight sense of cringe at my absolutely half drunk horrid voice but ultimately have a heart full of joy because I know I was having just the utmost fun.
“Because of this, we all too often find ourselves feigning apathy to avoid embarrassment: what you don’t care about can’t hurt you, right? “
This statement was so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing this with us. 👏
tldr: to be cringe is to be free
Real
Thank you for writing this. Thank you.❤️
The pep talk we all needed! Thank you!
Thank you for writing such a beautiful piece of writing.
this is so so beautiful! thank you
this is so wonderful, genuinely. thank you for sharing ! 🫶
this helped me a lot